If Only by Vampgirl79

"Come over, I need you. Now." As always, I go to her. Except this time it may be the last. I love her deeply, but I don't know if I can do this anymore. Each goodbye is harder than the last one. I want more than just being hers behind closed doors. If only we could truly be together; if only we were meant to be.

The Gist

Plan and simple this is a cheating fic. Edward and Bella are each other’s true love but perhaps falling in love too young meant that it was a love that couldn’t hold as they grew into adulthood.

Edward and Bella are both in committed relationships but have been engaging in an affair together for about a year. Edward yearns to run away with Bella and start the life he was meant to live but something’s holding Bella back. 

Edward and Bella

Having fallen in love as high schoolers, Edward and Bella struggle to make their relationship work long distance once they get to college. They break up but reconnect years later (for reasons which have not fully been explained). The love Edward has for Bella is all consuming and to a point desperate as he knows that neither of them are happy with the affair but he is unable to give her up.

Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why do I continue setting myself up for heartbreak over and over again? I'm a fool who is madly in love that's why. I believe in us, I believe with all of my heart that we can build a future together. If only she wasn't so damn scared and he didn't have such a fucking hold on her!

Stroking her thick hair, I sigh quietly. "You're right, maybe it's not fair. But, it's also not fair to keep doing this to each other, to them. So…go away with me, Bella. Tonight. I'll help you pack some of your belongings and-"

She shakes her head and the torn expression etched on her face rips my heart in half. "Eddie, I wish I could, more than anything, but-"

"No, no excuses this time. Let's do it. We will go anywhere you desire, as long as we're together."

Bella takes a deep breath, lays her head down on my chest and I feel a single tear slip out of her eye. "Edward, stop. Please, just don't."

Gently, I cradle her face between my hands, forcing her to meet my gaze. "Bella, I love you more than my own life, more than anyone else in this world. You know that, don't you?"

She nods as more wetness releases out of her eyes and glides down her rosy cheeks. "Yes, of course I do. And I love you too."

"Then that's all that matters. Let's just quit thinking and just…do."

Why Read This?

This fic is a newbie, with only 5 chapters but it’s definitely a page turner. Or is that screen scroller? I want to know why Bella feels compelled to stay married to her husband and why she seems almost fearful of leaving him. The love between Edward and Bella is compelling and despite the fact what they’re doing is wrong, you still root for them to figure out their lives so they can be together as they are supposed to. 

Will Edward realise his dream? Most likely but it’s gonna be a hard road.

Read it here: If Only

Brown Study by Littlesecret84

Bella's dreams have a way of coming true. But what will she do when the man she dreams of appears in her life as a boy who is less than ideal? Will finding him mean losing her BFF, Jane? Does knowing the future change the present? Rated M for adult stuff.

The Gist:

Brown Study is my most favourite fic. I can't tell you how many times I've read it. I can't literally open up any chapter, start reading, and be totally compelled to read the entire fic again.

The story starts with a young Bella and her premonitions of a man she is head over heels in love with. She see a vision of the love of her life and wonders when he will actually make an appearance. In walks Edward Cullen who is starting high school at Forks and Bella knows that he is special.

What follows is the flirtatious push and pull of two teenagers who are insanely attracted to each. However as soon as they come together, life pulls them apart. Bella is completely heartbroken and stubborn, figuring her life will be off not having Edward in it. The story then skips along Bella's future until she bumps into Edward at a party, immediately knowing that she still loves him but will he come back to her?

Edward and Bella:
What I love about this fic is the heartfelt, passioned stream of consciousness Bella has for Edward. She loves him wholly despite the years apart, the hurt she felt, and the life and the live-in girlfriend that Edward just doesn't seem prepared to leave. She gives herself fully, having faith that he will wise up. 

Bella and Jane:
This is one of the more true to life friendships between two girls that I have ever read. Bella and Jane are childhood bests and live for each other but as they grow up, they also grow apart, with Jane becoming a negative element in Bella's life. The way this relationship plays out is so relatable.

This Is Why You Should Read: 
It's sexy, it's real, it's romantic and it has love pulsing through it.

He says nothing for a while, but holds me tight and squeezes hard, like I would hug my dad after a particularly bad fall, or my mom when I'd find her crying in the kitchen.

"I have to stop," he says, and his lips finally, definitely touch my skin, and there's a gentle trembling where his chin meets my shoulder.

"But… but what if I have to know that you want me?" I ask, not sure where these words are coming from, because they sound strange and needy, and make me feel a little sick.

"What if I have to have this?" I continue.

He moves against me, like other men have before him, and also like he did before any other man, and silently tells me he does want me. He doesn't get it.

"I'm not talking about a natural physical reaction to being close like this… I meant… really want me." My voice breaks on the last few words, and I don't want to cry again.

He squeezes again, sitting up and bringing me with him. He holds me tighter. He opens his eyes and brings his mouth so close to mine. I whisper "tighter" and his forehead meets mine, and his arms are so tight around me, I could break.

"I'll hold you the tightest," he says.

Pretty boys shouldn't be allowed to use pretty words, or convey pretty emotions. It's just not fair, because if I end up with a random guy, say Tom, Dick, or whoever, fifty years from now, what I'll remember is Edward Cullen, holding me like he'll die if he lets me go, almost kissing me and saying things that make my heart soar to heights from which I can never bring it back. So poor, poor men of my future. You now have two Edwards to compete with, and lose against.

Read it here: Brown Study

Let's Try That Again

Wow, um hello there. Wow I'm terrible. Award for best blogger doesn't go to me obviously.

It's been over a year since I last updated and life has definitely dished out some amazing highs and some truly awful lows. But hey, that's life right or at least you'd hope. Who wants to just cruise through your days with nothing challenging you?

Anyways, I'm going to try. I'm going to try and blog again. I'm not making any promises or keeping to any schedule. I'm just going to blog as I like and see how it all goes. I want this to be fun and to be honest easy, so we'll see how we go.

mel xx